It is really hard to be told by your husband “I don’t love you any more” and it is easy to panic—but that is going to make matters worse.
You could even end up getting angry and pushing him further away. Don’t worry, I’ve got six ways to avoid panicking and videos that spell out the five worst and best reactions to “my husband doesn’t love me any more”.
1. Concentrate on your breathing
Put both hands flat on your chest rising and sinking. Try and slow down your breathing and take deeper breaths. Keep this up for five minutes or until you feel calmer.
2. Burn off some excess energy
If you’re like a caged tiger or simply can’t think straight, get out of the house and do some exercise.
If childcare means that you can’t go out, tackle some physically demanding job—like the kitchen floor or hacking back an overgrown flowerbed in the garden.
3. Keep a diary or start a blog
It is much better to pour all your worries and thoughts into a diary than to burden your husband with every twist and turn of your private thoughts.
It is also helpful to return to your diary and re-read it. Hopefully, you will discover that you’re making progress and although today might be bleak, it’s better than yesterday or two weeks before.
4. Find a friend who can support you
You might think ‘“if I just speak to my husband maybe he can reassure me that everything will be OK” or “maybe if I got a few answers about why he’s so unhappy we could move forward”, but when you’re panicking the conversation is unlikely to go well.
So pick up the phone or send an email to a sensible friend who will be a dumping ground for all your fears and help you get everything back into proportion.
5. Step away
If you’re in the middle of a discussion or an argument with your husband and you can feel yourself beginning to get angry (not just regular anger that’s OK but the kind of rage where you say stuff you will regret later or start ranting) or in danger of sobbing, begging him to stay or pushing for “answers”, please step away.
Tell your husband, “I’m sorry but I need a break” and leave the room. Maybe you’d like to continue the conversation at this point, make an appointment to talk at another time or simply ask to drop the subject.
6. Be kind to yourself
My husband doesn’t love me any more is one of the toughest challenges that you’re ever going to face.
So look after yourself by eating well, cut yourself some slack (in the greater scheme, it doesn’t matter that the kitchen cupboards need tidying) and pamper yourself from time-to-time (have a long bath, buy a magazine or a night out with the girls).
I’ve further help in this video about the WORST reactions to hearing “my husband doesn’t love me any more”:
And in this video I’ve got the BEST reactions to hearing “my husband doesn’t love me any more”:
I have more help in my book My Husband Doesn’t Love Me and He’s Texting Someone Else.
In part one, I cover what to do if your husband has fallen out of love and in part two I explain what to do if you suspect or discover that there is another woman involved who is pouring poison into his ear.
I have a really complicated situation and I’m hoping you can help me. My husband just told me he doesn’t love me anymore and I found out that he’s been carrying on Affair for the last year with the woman he cheated on me with 13 years prior. He said it has nothing to do with her he stopped loving me a long time ago and just happened to strike up a new relationship with her. He still lives in the same house as me says he’s leaving after the first of the year when I first found out he was a little bit more amicable but I noticed now he’s pulling more away. I don’t know if there’s any hope or if I should just let go and file for divorce. I would do anything to keep my family unit intact for my kids but I don’t know what the right thing to do is here he sleeps in a separate room as me he hardly talks to me anymore I don’t nag him I don’t beg him to stay I try to keep a happy smile on my face I try to keep things nice and cordial I don’t know what more I can do to try to bring him back. Is there hope or should I give up
Andrew G. Marshall says
This is a really tough one because it sounds like he didn’t learn anything from the first affair and saying the second time round ‘just happened’ sounds like he’s not learning anything from this experience either. I would stay with your current plan – be nice and cordial and see what happens (it will make it easier for the children too). My guess is that he will throw himself into his new life and think he’s solved all his problems. However, it is likely that he will discover the grass on the other side of the road is not greener (and probably full of weeds too!). By being cordial, the door is left open. However, you might find that you’re happier without him. Either way, you win! So keep with your current plans, be kind to yourself and get all the support you need from your friends and family.
My husband has been cheating s long time but I only just came to this realization. We have been together for 22 yrs and married 13. His has denied it always and last yr I had spoken to the other woman n he finally admitted it. They split up a while later but now he has been back home for a year and is cheating again. He will not leave or speak to me ignores me n will not be intimate with me. He has checked out and I have to endure this heart break over and over again. He sees her everyday I shares all of our business with her. I am so disgusted and ashamed but have no idea what to do. I need help badly.
Andrew G. Marshall says
It is time to ask him to leave. Calmly. Not after an argument, so he knows you mean it. It sounds like this situation is bad for your mental health. If he will not, get legal advice.