Men's Retreats
Burnout: Why Men are Particularly at Risk
And how their marriage is the first thing to suffer
From when we are boys, men get the messages loud and clear: Our job is to provide for the family.
Our masculinity is based, to some extent, on how much we earn. If there’s a problem just put your head down, work harder and power through. All these tendencies are exacerbated if you’re an expat because you’re more likely to be career focused and in a high stress position with lots of travel for work.
Furthermore, you’re away from your old support structures and have had little time to build new ones. And even if you have good mates here in Germany, the unspoken rules of being a man means solving problems on your own. Heaven forbid that you should show any vulnerability.
But the stress doesn’t disappear, it leaks out in moodiness or angry outbursts directed at your partner. She becomes exasperated, switches off or goes on the attack too. Stress at home, makes it harder to focus at work; it’s a vicious cycle.
- By Andrew G. Marshall
- Men's Retreats
I know both the impact of burnout on both you and your marriage
I have forty years experience as a marital therapist, am the author of twenty books on relationships and I moved to Berlin eight years ago.
For the past year, I have been running Men’s Retreats just outside Berlin because so many of my male clients were in the same position:
- At risk of burning out
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Or facing life-changing decisions alone
While their wives turned to friends to help them cope, these men had nobody to talk to. What would happen if I brought my male clients together?
My program of retreats as not only been credited with walking men back from the brink of burn-out but saving their marriages too.
So how could my Men’s Retreat help you?
"Bringing together men from all walks of life and all corners of the world to explore what it means to be a man today in a safe, interactive and fun space." D. (52, Germany)
Feel less alone
It is easy to think other people know how to cope, or you’re the only person feeling this way. Living together for three days allows you to really get to know the other men.
Get the benefit of other men’s support
If you always rely on your wife, you risk turning her into your mother. Creating a network of buddies reduces isolation, provides inspiration and proven strategies that worked for other men like you.
Wisdom of the ancestors
Each evening, we dissect a Grimm’s fairy tale round the fire. These stories were passed down through the generations because our ancestors faced the same problems as us. These stories are full of images – like the King, the Hero and the Magician – that can provide new ways of looking at your problems today.
Rituals
My workshops are not about sitting around and talking but going through an experience. A ritual takes us from one state of mind to another and works on the unconscious, so you not only learn but feel differently deep inside.
Know yourself better
Around midlife, we need to reassess, work out what’s working and what needs to change. Unfortunately, we have no time to stop and ask ourselves:
- Who am I?
- What makes my life meaningful?
Just because your parents or every right thinking person believes you should lead your life one way, doesn’t make it right for you.
Improve your relationship with your feelings
Rather than trying to avoid the unwelcomed feelings and maximise the welcomed ones, I will help you simply feel them and ask the important question: What is this feeling trying to tell me?
When you know your feelings better, you can know yourself better.
Healthier lifestyle
The isolation of the retreat – no smartphones, immersion in nature – interrupts the patterns of being “always on”, so you can rest without immediately switching back into responding to other people’s demands.
We ban talking about work; there are periods of silence; no alcohol and a balanced vegetarian ayurvedic diet.
My next Men’s Retreat - June 2027
"Opens vital new dimensions." H. (44, Germany)
My next workshop runs from Thursday 10th June (2027) to Monday 14th June near Strausberg (Brandenburg) an hour outside Berlin.
The theme is Living with Integrity: How to Show up as Your True Self.
Andrew G Marshall.
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