What are the secrets of happy couples who stay strong rather than grow apart?
In this ground-breaking book, marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall explains that it is not chemistry that keeps partners connected but skills.
It is likely that you didn’t learn these skills as a child because your parents didn’t know them or couldn’t explain them.
Maybe they avoided conflict, fought like cat and dog or split up when you were young so never showed you to fall out safely, make-up and resolve differences.
Fortunately, it’s never too late to learn how to communicate better and repair your relationship – even if you’re on the verge of splitting up.
Marshall draws on thirty plus years working with over three thousand clients to give you his tried and test tool kit for a happy marriage. It includes:
- The rules for constructive arguments
- How to be a better listener
- Use carrots rather than sticks
- How to forgive and move on
Love needs skills as well as chemistry
So what are these skills?
- They are about naming your feelings and reporting them – rather than being overwhelmed by them or bottling them up and then blowing
- I will teach you to ask for what you need – rather than dropping hints or nagging until your partner finally complies
- I will help you say ‘no’ or ‘maybe’ and to negotiate with your partner
- I will explain the rules for a good argument – where you can disagree and resolve issues without hurting each other
In effect, I will initiate you into the secrets of a happy marriage and teach you the skills that your parents either didn’t know or couldn’t put into words.
Wouldn’t it wonderful if the night before you got married, someone tapped you on the shoulder and told you all the secrets of a happy marriage?
Ideally it would be your mother or your father but sadly nobody initiated them into how to nurture, protect and repair their love either. They had to make it up as they went along too.
Nobody told me the secrets on the eve of my marriage either. Although my parents were happily married for fifty-nine years, my father was a man of few words. He could have explained how to balance my accounts or how to hang wallpaper but not what makes a relationship tick.
My mother was equally practical and nobody when I was growing up, nobody ever discussed feelings. No wonder I became a therapist and spend my life talking about them!
I had to learn the hard way, through trial and error and through my training as a marital therapist. So I’ve decided to gather my experiences over thirty five years working with over three thousand couples and turn them into one easy-to-digest book.
You are about to be initiated into the secrets of a happy marriage.
Bonus: Take my free Quick Quiz: What is your arguing style?
Take my quick quiz and get targeted advice. This is just one of the ideas in The Happy Couple’s Handbook – take the quiz and read this free excerpt in the Mail Online.